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Welcome back to the Flip Houses Like a Girl podcast.
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This is the show where we highlight real stories of everyday women who are learning to flip houses and create freedom for themselves and their families.
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I'm Blair, one of the coaches here at the Flip Sisters.
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Today I want to introduce you to someone who plays a truly foundational role in our program, our mindset coach, Sherry Joe.
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When you're flipping your first house, you're not just learning numbers, systems, and renovations.
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You're stepping into something brand new, often with brand new fears.
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What if I mess up?
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What if I lose money?
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What if I'm not ready?
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Those thoughts are completely normal, but they can also stop even the most capable woman from ever taking her first step.
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That's where mindset work comes in.
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Flipping isn't just a strategy, it's a confidence game.
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You can know exactly what to do, but if you're stuck in fear, perfectionism, overwhelm, or self-doubt, you won't take the actions that get you to the finish line.
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A strong mindset is the difference between quitting at the first unexpected problem and becoming the woman who figures it out and keeps going.
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And that's why we are so grateful to have Sherry Joe.
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She specializes in helping women quiet the fear, strengthen their beliefs in themselves, and step into the version of them that can flip a house and succeeds at it.
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She helps our members build resilience, clarity, and confidence so their mindset becomes an asset, not an obstacle.
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So today she's here to help you understand how your thoughts shape your results and how strengthening your mindset will set you up for success long before you ever pick up a hammer.
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Thank you so much for joining us today.
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Hi, well, I'm super excited to be here.
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Thank you so much.
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So I know one of the things that both you and I hate is New Year's resolutions.
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So here we are, kind of mid-February, and it's definitely the time where resolutions have left the building.
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But one of the things that I love is mindset work.
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And I don't think people understand that it's a daily practice that we have to pour into.
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And one of the top questions we get, because A, we're so lucky to have you and have like our own in-house mindsets, momentum, uh, unicorn, uh, that you are coach.
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But a lot of times we get asked, like, why would someone need a mindset coach to flip their first house?
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Gosh, you know, and and uh to me, that's the most powerful thing that anybody could ask, right?
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Um, because we don't realize what's actually in already formed in here.
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We don't realize the beliefs that are here.
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We don't realize how something that might have happened when we were in fourth grade could impact the way that we react, right?
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And there's a lot of unpacking, especially when you're going to start something new, when you're gonna try something different, when it's um out of the norm or different from what other people might think you should be doing.
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Yeah, definitely 100%.
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And I think what I think one of the unique things that our ladies come up against is, you know, house looping is not a norm uh job for most people.
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And sometimes being a woman is super different in this industry.
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But what are some things that you come across in coaching our ladies routinely that you see as mindset issues when they start our program?
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Oh gosh.
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So um I think it's amazing the fact that one of the cool things is that people think, I can't do this, I don't know how to do this, I don't know if I can learn this, you know, I am not.
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And there's a but it's it's a it's a ball of I can't, it's the contractions I call it, right?
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The can't, the won't, the didn't, the don'ts, the isn't.
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And you know, and so the biggest mindset is that it's for somebody else, right?
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And that it's going to be too hard, and that I don't have time, right?
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So those are the three primary things, and we can break those down if you'd like, but but the reality of it is is that you know, we are all gonna have our different different mindsets, but they all stem from the same things, right?
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It's what we've already, it's what we already know, right?
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And so, like if a lot of times people are afraid of the numbers, like I don't know how to do this technology thing.
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Okay, well, if if you uh, you know, if you I can't do a spreadsheet, I can't do formulas, well, that's okay.
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You don't have to, number one.
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Um, and number two, um, you know, the coolest thing about about the way that we look at stuff is that if you decide differently, then your brain is gonna receive differently, right?
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And that's where it starts, right?
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So, like if I look at a spreadsheet and I'm like, oh, that looks hard, I don't think I can do that.
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Every time I open up a spreadsheet, my brain's gonna go, hmm, do you think you can do that?
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Might be too hard for you.
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Maybe you should quit.
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Right.
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And and so that's that's one of the biggest mindset blocks I have is like changing your mind that it is possible.
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Yeah, that's absolutely huge.
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I think there's so much, especially like you said, like I would say 98% of the ladies who join our program have never done anything related to real estate before.
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Um, they're not agents, they're, you know, not in construction, they're not mortgage brokers, they've never heard of private or hard money lending.
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So it is all new, and that can be so scary.
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So I think it's like one of those super important things as to why our program offers a mindset coach because of everything you just said.
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Every single thing in life, Blair, is awkward, uncomfortable, and hard, right up until it's not, right?
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Yeah, everything is like that, right?
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And oftentimes we don't even know when it when it becomes not, right?
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It just kind of happens, right?
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The thing of it is is that, and and I tell people this all the time, and this is so true.
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I don't care, I don't care what you're doing, you don't have to be the coolest part about this program is that you don't have to be expert at any of it.
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Okay, and also you've done all of it, right?
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If you're an adult and you have lived this long that you're here, right?
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You have made relationships with people that you didn't have before.
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You you've you've had to um make expectations known and then sometimes have uncomfortable conversations if they aren't met.
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You've had to step in and say, help so many times in life, right?
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Um, it's nothing different.
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It's just different people, different words, and different acronyms.
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Yeah, and that's so crazy because I think like as you were talking about in the beginning, an important part of my life, uh, the stuff that I had to unpack and work through was that asking for help.
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Because I was taught that it was a weakness.
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And I don't even know that someone like specifically, you know, it wasn't a lesson in school where they sat me down and they were like, you cannot ask for help.
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That makes you weak.
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But I remember having that mentality or that, like, as a woman, I should be able to do it all, you know, keep the house clean, uh, take care of the animals or kids, have a full-time job, look good while I'm doing it.
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Nowhere in there were they like, oh yeah, by the way, like you can ask for help with all of this.
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You can delegate a good bit of this to other people, by the way.
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True story.
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No, seriously, Blair.
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Like, honestly, like, I'm like, women, we suck the worst sometimes.
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We don't suck, but we will suck the worst at this, right?
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Yeah, because we make these giant lists of all these things that we gotta do, and half of them don't even belong on your daily list, like cleaning out your software or you know, organize that's not on a to-do list, right?
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Um, it shouldn't be anyway.
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We make these giant lists and we act like we suck when we only crossed off a couple of things and don't even take into consideration the 85 things we did that didn't make it to any list, right?
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Yes.
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And and the thing of it is, like, you know, I'm a cancer survivor.
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Um I mean, I was a survivor before cancer, but um, you know, I'm a cancer survivor.
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And you know, the the the what I had to realize, nobody should ever have to have a tragedy in their life to decide, right?
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That there is enough time that I can be a priority.
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It's okay to be an equal priority in my own life.
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And and I found out things like I don't know, the paper towels work the same no matter what shelf they're on.
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Okay.
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And that my husband makes a better breakfast than me, and then he makes a better burger than me.
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And he knows how to use a sweeper.
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Shame on me if I don't say thank you instead of I got that.
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Yeah.
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Um God, that's so true.
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And it's so, you know, some of it's a little heavy when you start talking about like trauma and and cancer and like the big words.
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And like you don't wish that on anybody, but I think it gives us a unique perspective on life where we can easily say, like, that doesn't matter.
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Like, you know, exactly like you said, like I think there's a funny joke where it's like, you know, you know, somebody folds the towels for you and like they do they fold it this way or or are they wrong?
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And meanwhile, I'm over here.
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I don't care.
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They folded the towels and put them away.
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Did they make origami out of them?
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Don't care.
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Did they fold them this way?
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Don't care.
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Like they're folded, they're put away.
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Who cares?
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But yeah, so I think that's one of the important things.
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Like if you've gone through an experience like that, you definitely have to do a lot of great mindset work to get yourself back in.
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But sometimes we forget, like it doesn't take a big thing to happen for us to not have that mentality of I don't care, or like I I need help, or I can ask for help.
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We start to just slowly diminish ourselves on a day-to-day basis.
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And then we're like, but nothing happened.
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Well, that's cool.
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Like whether you've had trauma or you haven't, like you still need mindset work.
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Um, and I think you're all day.
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Yeah.
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And so I think that's what's amazing is like in our program, right?
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Like we front load a couple of calls with you because it's all new and different, and we're meeting women where they are.
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And sometimes that's just love, right?
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Like we're giving them a big hug and saying, hey, you are worth it.
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You are worth going through this process.
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Yes, it's new.
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I know there's a lot of shit out there you've been told, but none of it's true, by the way.
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And like, let's figure it out.
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But then also we're here with you through the process.
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So later down the road, when we've gotten them through that and they've gotten to that exciting part, they're under contract, they're in the middle of a flip, and something goes wrong.
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Like that's life.
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Like things happen.
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Like, not every project I do is perfect.
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So, what are some of the things or advice that you give our ladies when they're like in the middle of a project and it's like, oh my God, the plumbing broke.
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I wasn't expecting this, the world is ending, my life is over.
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Yeah.
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So our brains will lie to us every chance they get.
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Amen.
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Like my brain is the little evil bitch.
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Okay.
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And so if I do not see the good stuff constantly, okay, if I do not make sure that I am reminding myself that I am all that and a bag of chips, right?
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And the thing of it is is that it's not, it's not not true.
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Okay.
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So we, you know, we we always have an opportunity to listen and believe what's in here, okay?
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But that the fact of it is, is that that's not always truth, okay?
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Um, you know, a lot of our brain's job is to support whatever it is that you thought or felt or said or did, and it doesn't even know the difference between memory, fact, fiction, or thought.
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Okay.
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Ella does, it's just like us, like it's like a little people in your in your head, right?
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Like you fill in the gaps, you get this piece of information and this piece of information, and therefore all this must have happened, right?
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And so it fills in the gap.
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So if you look at something in your brain, you you say, Oh man, I suck.
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I don't think I can do this.
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Oh yeah, you're right.
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You know, I don't think you can.
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Maybe you should just quit.
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Okay.
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Like I could listen to my brain all day, every day, right?
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And but I had to create ammunition, right, against it, right?
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Because I needed to know who I am.
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It's not that I don't know who I am, it's that the world tells me what I'm not, right?
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The world tells me what I'm not, and that makes a huge difference, right?
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So I have to actually like know who I am.
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Like my brain will say things like, Who do you think you are, Sherry Joe, or you belong on that stage where Les Brown and Tony Robbins are?
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Like they've been up there for 35 years, but every time you get there, you get knocked down.
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I mean, first it was COVID, then it was cancer.
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You're 57 years old, when are you gonna quit?
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Right?
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And I can listen to that and not do anything as a result.
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Or I can be like, uh-uh, no, no, no.
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Let me tell you who I really am, okay?
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Right?
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You don't get to lie to me today, great, right?
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I'm intelligent, I'm caring, I'm kind, I'm wise, I'm spectacular, I'm hilarious most of the time.
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I'm amazing, I'm an overcomer, I'm loyal, I'm driven, I'm determined, I'm dedicated, I'm designated, and because I'm Christian, I got like 130 other things, right?
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And they're all true, and I don't have to feel them every minute of every day for like to be true.
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Just because I don't feel spectacular doesn't mean I'm not.
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Okay, just because I make a mistake doesn't mean I'm not intelligent.
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Okay, the best thing that ever happened to me, right, from mindset was failing, honestly, was falling short, was learning that it wasn't the end of the world if things didn't go exactly how I planned them to be.
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And most of the time, if I listen to people that knew how to do it better than me, they're not good.
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And and that's the coolest.
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That's still that right there is I'm gonna bring it back for full circle.
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That right there is why it's so important for people to pay attention here, right?
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Because there are few places in the entire world, and I say this all the time, there are few places, okay, that um you don't have to have all the answers.
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There are few places that you're going to get as much attention, right?
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And I don't think the only time you're ever gonna be alone in this program is if you don't show up, right?
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Um you know there is such great potential and support around you all the time.
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Do the modules, do the things, show up for yourself, not for us, for you.
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Do the modules, do the things, do the modules, do the things, do the modules, do the things.
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It's really hard to think, right?
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And and and it's no different than anything else that you've done with your life.
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You would do it with your kids, you would do it with your spouse, you would do it with with your W-2 job if you have one.
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I'll never do that again, but some people will.
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Um, you know, and you know, so it it kind of, you know, it it's the same.
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We just need to apply it here.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, it's funny.
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It's so great that you brought up like two things because like yesterday I was watching a TV show, and this woman was kind of spiraling, and she was in like worst case scenario, and she like asked somebody, she's like, Can you just help me?
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I need help.
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And the girl was like, looks at her, like, and she's like, first off, you need to know thoughts are not facts.
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And I was like, boom, because I was like, oh my gosh.
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So like she kept, you know, like I said, worst case scenario.
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And the girl's like, those aren't facts.
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That is not something that has actually happened.
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And I was like, oh my gosh, because how many times, like, even you know, I've been doing this for six years, I have a great track record, but I can still get stuck.
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Like I have a project that's going now.
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And sometimes I'm like, oh my God, like what am I doing?
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And I'm like, okay, first off, you know what you're doing.
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Like, you, you know, let's go visit the facts.
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The facts are you have been doing this successfully for the last six years.
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The facts are you ran all the numbers like you were supposed to.
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The facts are you're really great at interior design work for these things because people keep telling you that over and over again.
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So I kind of just sued with numbers, soothed with facts with that.
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And the other thing I want to circle on that you were talking about is failure.
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So I came from a household where if there was extra credit and I got a hundred on a test, the a hundred was not good enough.
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It needed to be a 103.
00:17:17.039 --> 00:17:24.000
So there was so much in life I didn't do, I didn't start, I didn't try, because I didn't know if I'd be good at it.
00:17:24.160 --> 00:17:25.680
So like it was kind of one of those things.
00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:27.519
Well, we're not gonna do it and fail.
00:17:27.680 --> 00:17:30.160
Um and I worked really hard.
00:17:30.400 --> 00:17:31.200
Yeah, like so.
00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:40.559
I had to work like really hard over the last couple of, you know, probably like the last decade, um, of getting into the mindset of fail fast, fail forward.
00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:41.599
Yes.
00:17:42.319 --> 00:17:49.599
So now I look at failure as like, cool, now I know how it doesn't work, and that's just a stepping stone for me to move forward.
00:17:49.759 --> 00:17:53.440
Um, and I think that's important in this journey.
00:17:53.759 --> 00:17:57.839
It there's a lot of things that are also gonna feel like a failure, but they're not.
00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:05.279
And so having a group to come and talk to, having a mindset coach that you can bounce that off of and be like, hey, that wasn't really a failure.
00:18:05.440 --> 00:18:07.359
It just didn't work the way you thought it was going to.
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:08.160
And that's okay.
00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:11.680
Like maybe that lender, the conversation made you uncomfortable.
00:18:11.759 --> 00:18:14.000
They said some, they said they didn't want to work with you.
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:14.640
Cool.
00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:15.759
Let's talk about it.
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:17.839
What did we say in that conversation?
00:18:18.000 --> 00:18:20.079
And then let's just go call somebody else.
00:18:20.319 --> 00:18:26.559
Um, but I think like so often, a lot of times we just like would go, okay, I failed, I quit, like we're done.
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:28.640
Um yeah.
00:18:28.720 --> 00:18:32.480
And so like this one person didn't like me, like, oh my God.
00:18:32.640 --> 00:18:34.160
Um, it used to be like that.
00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:35.680
Now I'm just kind of like, okay, cool.
00:18:35.920 --> 00:18:39.359
They're just not my person, but I can go, I can go find a person.
00:18:39.440 --> 00:18:46.880
Like in my most recent deal, I reached out to a new person who wanted to private lend and they poo-pooed like all over my deal.
00:18:47.039 --> 00:18:49.039
And I felt bad about it for a minute.
00:18:49.119 --> 00:18:54.960
And I talked to somebody because sometimes it's just good to talk things out, and they're like, Yeah, so how many houses has this person flipped?
00:18:55.200 --> 00:18:57.279
And I was like, Well, they've never flipped a house before.
00:18:57.359 --> 00:18:59.920
And like they just kind of looked at me and they're like, And how many have you done?
00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:02.799
And I'm like, Okay, I get what you're saying.
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:07.440
So I went on and to talk to a couple others, and they were like, heck yeah, like work in.
00:19:07.599 --> 00:19:08.559
This looks awesome.
00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:09.839
We have all this faith in you.
00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:12.559
And so, like, all of a sudden I was like, Ugh, okay, keep moving.
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:15.039
Like, so yeah, so right there too.
00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:16.960
See, it's those little moments, right?
00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:19.039
Those little moments can send you back.
00:19:19.119 --> 00:19:26.240
And that's why working on mindset is always important, always, because it doesn't take much, right?
00:19:26.319 --> 00:19:31.920
Yeah, it doesn't take much for the wrong thing to trigger you, and and then and it's not like one thought pops in.
00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:38.559
One thought triggers the next one, the next one, the next one, the next one, and the next thing you know, you're like Squidward getting under a little rock somewhere, right?
00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:44.400
Because I can go, you know, um, you know, and and it happens no matter how good you are.
00:19:44.559 --> 00:19:49.359
Like there are so the Pittsburgh Um Home and Garden show is coming up here in a few months, right?
00:19:49.519 --> 00:19:53.519
And um, and I'm I have a coffee company and I'm doing an author showcase, right?
00:19:53.759 --> 00:19:57.920
So I mean, I know a gazillion authors because this is I know a gazillion authors.
00:19:58.079 --> 00:20:03.039
So, you know, I reached out to the ones that I wanted to represent at this, you know, at this event.
00:20:03.200 --> 00:20:05.680
And I had one over the weekend who was like, hey, but what about this?
00:20:05.759 --> 00:20:06.319
And what about this?
00:20:06.400 --> 00:20:12.319
And what about and what about and I don't know and so and so finally I said, Listen, Bob, that wasn't his name.
00:20:12.480 --> 00:20:19.839
I said, Listen, Bob, maybe this isn't for you because at that price, the ROI is a no-brainer, so it's okay, dude.
00:20:19.920 --> 00:20:20.720
No, no, thank you.
00:20:20.799 --> 00:20:22.559
I'm gonna go to the next person, right?
00:20:22.720 --> 00:20:28.960
Yeah, not everything is for everybody, and not everyone is for everyone, and that's okay, right?
00:20:29.200 --> 00:20:36.720
It was so much freedom when I realized, like, wait a minute, just because I was too much for a lot of people doesn't mean I'm too much for everyone.
00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:38.559
You know what I mean?
00:20:38.720 --> 00:20:41.759
Um, it and that's okay because I'm not supposed to be forgotten.
00:20:41.839 --> 00:20:45.759
I'm at the end of the day, my head is on my pillow.
00:20:46.400 --> 00:20:47.839
Yeah, I love that.
00:20:48.000 --> 00:20:53.119
So you have such a great like winner's mentality and gratitude.
00:20:53.440 --> 00:20:57.039
So, and I love that you kind of already mentioned this, like we have to keep going.
00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:00.400
Like, even when something fabulous happens, right?
00:21:00.480 --> 00:21:07.839
Like I closed, you closed that first deal as a student, and you, you know, you're looking at a$50,000 check.
00:21:08.079 --> 00:21:11.119
So you're like, oh yeah, like won the lottery.
00:21:11.440 --> 00:21:16.720
But we still have to continue after that and and keep doing the mindset work.
00:21:17.279 --> 00:21:21.680
Because I think it's just there's so much else that's gonna come after that, too.
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:34.000
So kind of talk a little bit, if you could, about like, you know, if somebody has a great win like that, like what would be some advice you would give them, you know, like, hey, like now we should do this, like right.
00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:39.279
So, um, so I, you know, it's funny that you asked that because all too often it's a piece that's missed, right?
00:21:39.440 --> 00:21:43.599
Um, you know, people want to do the thing, do the thing, do the thing, get in the house, right?
00:21:43.759 --> 00:21:48.079
Or it's like do the thing, do the thing, do whatever it is, you know, you apply it to any industry.
00:21:48.319 --> 00:21:59.759
But the reality of it is, is that if you're not paying attention to all the things beforehand and maintaining them and as you're learning them and setting up your processes, and remember how did I do that so that I could do a success.
00:22:00.160 --> 00:22:03.440
Successfully, what worked well, what worked, what didn't work, right?
00:22:03.599 --> 00:22:06.000
Yes, you want to get in that flip, right?
00:22:06.240 --> 00:22:14.559
And also, if you like, let's say you hurry up and you do get into a deal right away, but you don't set up your marketing plan, what's gonna happen?
00:22:14.720 --> 00:22:17.759
Now you're gonna start all over again, right?
00:22:18.000 --> 00:22:22.480
All over again, but nothing in your pipeline, nothing coming up, right?
00:22:22.640 --> 00:22:24.640
And that's not the way that we do life, right?
00:22:24.720 --> 00:22:28.640
We don't wait until we're out of food to go get more.
00:22:29.039 --> 00:22:29.279
Okay.
00:22:29.920 --> 00:22:33.920
We don't wait until, well, I mean, you understand what I'm saying.
00:22:34.000 --> 00:22:34.400
We don't wait.
00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:36.319
Yeah, that's a great analogy, actually.
00:22:36.480 --> 00:22:38.640
That's um it works really well.
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:43.680
So, yeah, I mean it's it's a matter of you gotta keep going, right?
00:22:43.759 --> 00:22:48.400
And so I think that it's important to realize the value in all the pieces, right?
00:22:48.559 --> 00:22:52.480
It's not about I've gotta get over there and all this doesn't really matter.
00:22:52.559 --> 00:22:54.559
I'm just doing it so that I can get there.
00:22:54.799 --> 00:22:58.880
No, no, no, all of these, like everything, this is not that kind of place, right?
00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:02.799
I mean, which is the the one of the things that makes it so cool, right?
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:04.799
Everything stacks, okay?
00:23:05.200 --> 00:23:14.640
If you like don't do any of the things, and then you get to this place and you're ready to leave, but you haven't done these, you're gonna have to go back and do all the do it all over again because it's so much, right?
00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:19.680
So it's it's the way that this is is set up, is the way that life should be, right?
00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:21.759
Yeah, it really is.
00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:24.799
We get to go back and look at what's working and what's not.
00:23:24.960 --> 00:23:26.160
We get to decide, right?
00:23:26.240 --> 00:23:30.799
So I'm gonna circle back to the winning and losing and failing forward and all that kind of stuff, right?
00:23:31.039 --> 00:23:34.079
There's a lot of different ways to look at failure, right?
00:23:34.480 --> 00:23:37.599
In all of our lives, we wear labels, right?
00:23:37.920 --> 00:23:43.200
We wear labels that other people give us from the moment we're born.
00:23:44.079 --> 00:23:46.240
Okay, your label is Blair.
00:23:47.359 --> 00:23:48.240
That was the first one.
00:23:48.400 --> 00:23:50.480
Okay, your first label was girl, right?
00:23:50.720 --> 00:23:52.000
Your second label was Blair.
00:23:53.279 --> 00:23:56.960
Okay, and then all throughout, bam, bam, label, label, label.
00:23:57.039 --> 00:23:58.400
Oh, she's so finicky.
00:23:58.640 --> 00:23:58.960
You know what?
00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:00.799
She gets sick all the time.
00:24:01.039 --> 00:24:10.319
You know, that girl just can never, you know, and and so people are they're labeling you and putting things on you, and then we wear them like badges of honor.
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:17.119
Okay, at some point in time, you know, we get to decide is that really me?
00:24:17.279 --> 00:24:20.079
And even if it was me over there, is it me now?
00:24:20.319 --> 00:24:26.720
Okay, and also those labels can have any kind of feeling that you want.
00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:27.359
Okay.
00:24:27.920 --> 00:24:34.880
So, you know, if she talks too much, it turns into she's an international speaker that gets paid a lot to do it.
00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:45.359
Okay, if you if you decide that that is what I want, if you want it bad enough, you can have anything.
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:49.279
Okay, so like winning, losing, failing, I don't lose.
00:24:49.519 --> 00:24:50.480
I don't fail.
00:24:50.880 --> 00:24:52.880
I either win or I learn.
00:24:54.799 --> 00:25:04.079
So when when I look at what didn't go the way that I planned it, okay, then I can ask myself, okay, well did I have any control over it?
00:25:05.359 --> 00:25:08.799
If I didn't have any control over it, chances are it's not mine to control.
00:25:11.119 --> 00:25:14.400
If I did have control over it, what could I have done differently?
00:25:14.720 --> 00:25:15.119
Right?
00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:19.519
So that the next time something comes up, I'm prepared.
00:25:20.400 --> 00:25:22.480
Do I do that right before I go to bed?
00:25:22.640 --> 00:25:24.160
Because what do we do when we go to bed?
00:25:24.319 --> 00:25:27.039
We review everything in our in our heads, right?
00:25:28.079 --> 00:25:29.279
All conversations.
00:25:29.920 --> 00:25:31.440
Yeah, we re-replay the day.
00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:32.400
Why did I say that?
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:33.359
Oh my god.
00:25:33.599 --> 00:25:33.920
Uh-huh.
00:25:34.240 --> 00:25:37.759
See, I'll I'll I call it focusing on the pre-play instead of the replay, right?
00:25:37.920 --> 00:25:43.759
Let's plan out how we want it to turn out rather than like replaying the same conversation over and over again.
00:25:43.920 --> 00:25:49.680
Like my husband and I used to say, my husband and I used to have these knockdown, drag out arguments, and I would win every single one of them.
00:25:49.759 --> 00:25:51.920
We have them every day, first thing in the morning.
00:25:52.160 --> 00:25:57.440
Except like, I'm in the shower all by myself, and he's not even awake yet, and I'm having both sides of the argument.
00:25:57.599 --> 00:25:58.799
He don't even know what's fine.
00:26:00.400 --> 00:26:01.440
But I'm winning.
00:26:01.759 --> 00:26:02.799
I'm winning though, yeah.
00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:04.400
We do this, right?
00:26:04.559 --> 00:26:04.720
Yeah.
00:26:04.960 --> 00:26:09.759
Um so the focus, so so like when I focus on my wins at the end of the day, right?
00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:12.799
I'm not going to bed in a state of what didn't work.
00:26:13.359 --> 00:26:18.480
I'm going to bed in a state of I wanted this, I wanted this, I wanted that, that stuff.
00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:21.359
But I learned from it, so now it's a win too.
00:26:22.240 --> 00:26:22.480
Okay.
00:26:23.200 --> 00:26:28.160
The way that we label things determines, I would say, 80% of it.
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:29.680
That's not a real statistic.
00:26:29.759 --> 00:26:31.759
I'm making that up, but I'll find out what it is.
00:26:32.079 --> 00:26:39.599
Um but honestly, I mean, my attitude and my approach all too often determines the outcome.
00:26:39.920 --> 00:26:40.960
Yeah, that's so cool.
00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:49.359
Like I had a mentor who taught me about pre-programming, and that's kind of what got me to start thinking about like you're talking about the labels.
00:26:49.519 --> 00:27:00.400
And he has kind of a similar thing that like you were pre-programmed for so long with different things that other people put in your computer, you know, basically your hard motherboard, whatever you call it.
00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:06.640
And like you get to decide, like, hey, do I take this out and kind of judge it and put it back?
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:09.119
Do I just totally rip it out and throw it away?
00:27:09.359 --> 00:27:16.559
But one of the things you said, like, wow, like I've never heard anybody put it like that, but it's so cool.
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:22.720
Like, you also get to assign what feeling you put towards a label.
00:27:23.279 --> 00:27:24.319
Like, that's incredible.
00:27:24.400 --> 00:27:26.799
I've never heard anybody put it like that.
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:31.759
And now I'm like, oh my God, like how many times has somebody said something?
00:27:31.920 --> 00:27:37.519
And like maybe, you know, I chose to take it that way in a not good way.
00:27:37.599 --> 00:27:41.920
And I should have taken it maybe in a good way, or I could turn it around into a good way.
00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:50.079
Um, like you and I both laugh about like our childhood, and uh, and we were very talkative and how we got in trouble for talking.
00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:51.599
Um look at us now.
00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:53.440
We're on a podcast talking to the world.
00:27:53.680 --> 00:28:00.319
Um, you know, and so like had I taken that, you know, in a different way, and maybe I became quiet and reserved for a while.
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:06.079
And instead I, you know, I could have reassigned that feeling to look, I mean, yes, I have the gift of gab.
00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:09.279
Um, I can talk to anybody about anything.
00:28:09.519 --> 00:28:14.640
So that was just to me, wow, like that's my takeaway from this podcast episode that we're doing.
00:28:14.720 --> 00:28:22.880
Like, I hope everybody like goes back and just kind of listens to that phrase and like maybe writes it down somewhere and just kind of remembers that.
00:28:23.039 --> 00:28:28.880
Like you get to assign the feeling of a label, whether it's you put the label on or someone else.
00:28:29.039 --> 00:28:30.240
Like, wow, Sherry.
00:28:30.559 --> 00:28:32.480
Like to me, that was super impactful.
00:28:32.720 --> 00:28:35.839
Um I want to give you a little example of that.
00:28:35.920 --> 00:28:36.160
Okay.
00:28:36.640 --> 00:28:44.079
I went to a thing at a at a um at a community event, and I hadn't, you know, most of the work that I do is not in my hometown, right?
00:28:44.240 --> 00:28:50.720
Um, but I was given the assignment by God to go do things locally, just pay attention, like look bloom where you're planted too, right?
00:28:50.880 --> 00:28:51.119
Yeah.
00:28:51.200 --> 00:28:51.359
Yeah.
00:28:51.599 --> 00:28:52.720
So um, so I started going.
00:28:52.799 --> 00:28:54.720
So one of my friends I hadn't seen in a long time was there.
00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:57.599
And I was talking to this person, that person, this person, that person.
00:28:57.759 --> 00:29:05.839
And this person said to the group of six people that um that I was with, they were like, it's so good to see you, Sherry Joe.
00:29:05.920 --> 00:29:07.599
And he was like, and she said something to her friend.
00:29:07.839 --> 00:29:09.200
She goes, This is Sherry Joe.
00:29:09.359 --> 00:29:10.480
She's a lot.
00:29:11.839 --> 00:29:12.160
Okay.
00:29:13.279 --> 00:29:15.119
And it's true.
00:29:15.279 --> 00:29:16.400
I am right.
00:29:16.960 --> 00:29:23.119
And also, you know, there was a point in time where to me quite at that point in time, I was like, Okay, I'm talking too much.
00:29:23.200 --> 00:29:24.160
I'm saying the wrong things.
00:29:24.319 --> 00:29:26.799
I need to go sit down, I need to be less, right?
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:29.680
You know, and and it didn't happen overnight, right?
00:29:29.759 --> 00:29:32.720
And sometimes I still have those feelings when things like that happen.
00:29:32.799 --> 00:29:34.880
I have to remind myself, right?
00:29:35.039 --> 00:29:38.640
But I got to take a deep breath instead and say, Yep, I am a lot.
00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:39.359
You want some?
00:29:41.680 --> 00:29:42.640
I love it.
00:29:42.960 --> 00:29:44.240
Um, we have to decide.
00:29:44.400 --> 00:29:46.000
We get to decide, right?
00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:51.200
Um, most these things are not have-to's, they're get-to's, right?
00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:55.519
We get to change our own trajectory, our own outcome.
00:29:56.559 --> 00:29:58.880
Yeah, that's that's so true.
00:29:59.279 --> 00:30:05.440
So speaking of get-to's, so people get to do a lot of things, right?
00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:07.119
Like you said, like a lot of choices.
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:24.240
But if we could impart, like before we kind of wrap up for today, if you could impart, like, hey, you know, if you just do like one little thing, like what would be one good little tip to like somebody could walk away from this podcast and be like, okay, I get to do this activity for my mindset.
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:26.240
Like, just give us one little nugget.
00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:28.400
Okay, that it's a simple nugget.
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:28.799
Okay.
00:30:29.359 --> 00:30:32.559
Listen to the words and immediately change them.
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:38.640
Listen to the words that come out of your mouth and out loud, immediately change them.
00:30:38.799 --> 00:30:39.039
Okay.
00:30:39.599 --> 00:30:40.559
Example.
00:30:41.200 --> 00:30:46.880
I'm carrying a purse, I'm in my driveway, up and down, a purse isn't buttoned, it spins.
00:30:47.440 --> 00:30:50.079
Because of obviously it has too much stuff in it, right?
00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:51.599
It happened to us all.
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:52.960
Happens to us all.
00:30:53.279 --> 00:30:55.759
First thing out of my mouth, oh, you dummy.
00:30:56.319 --> 00:30:58.559
No, no, I am not a dummy.
00:30:58.720 --> 00:31:00.480
That was just a dumb thing to do.
00:31:01.200 --> 00:31:04.960
As a matter of fact, I'm intelligent, I'm caring, I'm kind, I'm wise.
00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:05.680
Okay?
00:31:06.160 --> 00:31:08.880
Because you see that one thought, if we voice it, right?
00:31:08.960 --> 00:31:16.240
If something negative about yourself comes out of your own mouth, okay, it's like the good wolf and the bad wolf, okay?
00:31:16.400 --> 00:31:19.119
They're not gonna play rock'em sake in your brain.
00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:22.880
Bad wolf already has the stronghold, okay?
00:31:23.039 --> 00:31:32.960
You gotta speak the opposite out loud because you gotta form the thought, form the word when it goes back into your ears, louder than the voice that's already in there.
00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:35.599
Change the words, change the dialogue.
00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:40.160
You don't have to feel it in order for it to be true.
00:31:41.119 --> 00:31:42.480
You can feel it later.
00:31:43.680 --> 00:31:44.480
Love it.
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:45.759
Change the words.
00:31:46.000 --> 00:31:46.640
I like that.
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:47.039
Yeah.
00:31:47.279 --> 00:31:53.759
Well, Sheridra, I want to extend a wholehearted thank you for sitting down with me for a little bit and sharing.
00:31:53.920 --> 00:31:58.799
I mean, I can only say like a glimmer of the unicorn shimmer that is you.
00:31:59.039 --> 00:32:05.759
Um, our ladies, and myself included, are so lucky to have you here in our program.
00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:11.119
You know, we have a running joke, but it's not really a joke, that our program is mostly mindset.
00:32:11.200 --> 00:32:15.519
And we just happen to teach you how to flip houses while we do it.
00:32:15.599 --> 00:32:21.039
And I think that's part of why women find themselves drawn to our program.
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:27.440
They come in, they are successful because they feel love, supported, seen.
00:32:27.839 --> 00:32:40.799
And part of it is the love that you pour into them and changing, you know, how they're looking at the labels, how they're removing the labels, how they're talking to themselves, because that stuff is so important.
00:32:40.960 --> 00:32:55.359
And a lot of times, like as a house-lipping coach, I can't teach someone, you know, the basic steps because they're not in a place where they're ready to accept it because they are already telling themselves, I can't learn this.
00:32:55.920 --> 00:32:56.640
So yeah.
00:32:56.799 --> 00:33:06.559
So it's like I'm, you know, as a coach, like, you know, I can see what's happening, but sometimes they need, you know, your love and attention and special, speciality.
00:33:06.720 --> 00:33:07.759
That's a fun word.
00:33:07.920 --> 00:33:09.440
Um, your speciality.
00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:11.279
I mean, how would I get over that?
00:33:11.359 --> 00:33:17.759
And I think that's one of the unique things, again, like even our house slipping coaches, like we understand that, right?
00:33:17.839 --> 00:33:20.640
Like, I can't sit here and be like, oh my God, why aren't you getting this?
00:33:20.799 --> 00:33:24.480
Like you've watched the darn thing four times and I've answered every question.
00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:32.480
Um, we don't coach in that manner because, and also like we've all been there too, or we we've had to work over things that we've been told.
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:38.079
And so I think that's what makes our program unique is the fact that we have that mindset component.
00:33:38.240 --> 00:33:44.720
And also I think it's more of like, yes, do we absolutely want our ladies to come out of our program having flipped a house and been successful?
00:33:44.880 --> 00:33:45.680
Oh, 100%.
00:33:46.319 --> 00:33:50.559
We want to see you skyrocket and do whatever it is that you want to do with this.
00:33:50.720 --> 00:34:06.640
But I also want to see you leave the program a better human being and more at peace with who you are and what you want out of life and giving you the skills as a woman to speak up, love yourself, and do that.
00:34:06.880 --> 00:34:11.280
To me, I just think it gives us the highest honor as coaches and people.
00:34:12.239 --> 00:34:15.360
So these ladies are so lucky to have you, Sherry Joe.
00:34:15.440 --> 00:34:18.960
And I'm so glad that we got to sit down for a couple minutes today.
00:34:19.199 --> 00:34:23.840
And yeah, anything you want to you want to add before we say, have a great afternoon, everybody?
00:34:24.239 --> 00:34:26.960
You know, um, I've never been accused of being short on words.
00:34:27.119 --> 00:34:43.519
Um you know, I mean, one thing I would tell people, listen, even if even if things are harder than you think they are, okay, when you give yourself a chance in this program, it is going to change you in a way that everything in life will be different.
00:34:43.760 --> 00:34:44.079
Okay.
00:34:44.480 --> 00:34:46.639
Um, I know that because I've seen it.
00:34:46.800 --> 00:34:49.199
I know that because I watched people, right?
00:34:49.360 --> 00:34:51.840
Um, I am not the master flipper by any means.
00:34:51.920 --> 00:34:53.760
I don't want to go to Lowe's ever, right?
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:56.000
Um, and so I'm like, no, thank you.
00:34:56.159 --> 00:35:04.000
But I I talk to everybody and the changes that happen in them as a result of doing all the things in this program.
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:06.079
It's not just about flipping.
00:35:06.239 --> 00:35:09.039
It's it's it's about it's about flipping yourself, you know.
00:35:09.119 --> 00:35:09.280
Yeah.
00:35:09.440 --> 00:35:13.360
And you just happen to like get rich when you do it the right way, too.
00:35:14.880 --> 00:35:16.239
Which is totally okay, by the way.
00:35:16.320 --> 00:35:18.880
Money is not money is not the evil here.
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:20.719
Um that's how we steward it.
00:35:20.800 --> 00:35:24.800
So that's a whole nother question, you know, a whole nother topic we can talk about in our next.
00:35:25.199 --> 00:35:26.960
That's a great podcast episode, actually.
00:35:27.039 --> 00:35:28.480
So I'm gonna put that on the list.
00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:28.960
Yeah.
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:30.320
Money is not evil.
00:35:30.559 --> 00:35:31.840
Money is not evil.
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:34.400
Um, so thank you so much, Jerry Joe.
00:35:34.480 --> 00:35:39.360
I've really appreciated spending this time with you and you know, to all of our listeners here.
00:35:39.519 --> 00:35:42.320
I I think they've hopefully walked away with something.
00:35:42.559 --> 00:35:43.760
Yeah, I hope so too.
00:35:43.920 --> 00:35:45.199
Thank you so much, Blair.
00:35:45.360 --> 00:35:48.000
Um, you know, I love everybody so much.
00:35:48.159 --> 00:35:49.039
Thank you.
00:35:50.000 --> 00:35:55.280
Thank you so much for joining us today on the Flip House's Like a Girl podcast.
00:35:55.519 --> 00:36:01.760
I hope you found inspiration and practical takeaways from our talk with Jerry Joe today.
00:36:02.079 --> 00:36:08.000
Remember, every successful flip starts with one brave decision to get in the game.
00:36:08.239 --> 00:36:10.239
And you don't have to do it alone.
00:36:10.400 --> 00:36:17.760
If you're ready to take the next step towards flipping your first house, we'd love for you to learn more about the Flip Sisters program.
00:36:18.320 --> 00:36:28.559
It is the leading coaching program and community designed specifically for women across the country who are ready to flip houses in their local markets.
00:36:29.119 --> 00:36:39.440
To connect with us, check out the program, or just get inspired by more stories like this one, visit us at www.theflipsisters.com.00:36:39.760 --> 00:36:49.119
And as always, thank you for listening, subscribing, and sharing this podcast with other women who are ready to step into the world of flipping houses.00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:56.639
Until next time, keep going, keep growing, and remember, you can absolutely do this.
